Friday, 6 March 2020

Who are you blaming?


Blaming is harming u!
All these years I learned a pattern of behavior ..
Blaming others… 
Not just for their behavior or things that I felt was wrong…
But due to this pattern formation… was blaming on things they did not do…
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Maybe it’s not true you…
You might have learned this behavior from someone else… maybe a friend
Who had this pattern… or maybe a parent or sibling…
You took This pattern as a way to communicate ..
You might think it’s normal…
I used to think that too..
But what I could never understood that instead of helping or correcting the situation..other person doesn’t really behave the way I wanted… or better the other person felt guilt, anger and frustration..
Relationship becomes sour…
And you get into a loop of blaming - hurting- not accepting…
Because you were already hurt… then you  tried to tell the person what they did… n instead of help or betterment… situations get worse…
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Now let’s see how it should be…
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Keep reading my blog for solutions... I will be posting it in next blog...
Keep following...

Thursday, 13 February 2020

Are you listening to yourself?


You become friends with someone...you like their company...slowly friendship grows...
And what you see is the charm is little but harm is more...
You find yourself in a place you don’t want to give up on friendship nor on yourself...
You stay there...you continue it...
It keeps harming you...keep making your life miserable...
But you are stick to your beliefs and you are trying to make it work again and again...
Trauma
Trauma
Trauma
Not only to you but to other person too...
Here comes the part where you tell yourself...i can’t handle it anymore and i need to move on in my life...
You can’t deal with day and night...
You guys might not be together...but your mind still works on the same path... so here comes 3 most powerful and hardest words of your life...
LET IT GO....
But how?? You like that person and you can live even miserably but can’t leave that person...
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Still things continue at a small phase, silently outside ...loudly inside..
Here comes the life...
After few years you met another friend...we start living together...
So chilled! So anxious! So terrified!
Somehow that was the only good option in a new city...
Time passes by...and you realize...
You can be friend with other people..without toxicity ...
Without trauma... without battles... without blaming games...
And now those 3 words make sense to you. ..
LET IT GO!
And now you apply it...and slowly start your healing...
And realize you are lovable...you can live with other beings...you can live happily with other people...
You can laugh,tease be yourself and other people can handle it...
You can put your thought and other people can accept it...
It really takes a lot of effort to begin a new life...with new people...
But for your sake you need to put together everything and sometimes dump that shit out of your system to put your life back in order...
You owe to yourself...
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It took me years to understand …
Those things which deny your peace and are not comfortable with your way of living doesn’t mean you are lacking anything ..
There are lots of people in the world and there are ones who resonate you and make you grow more…
It’s OK to end a relationship with anyone and listen to your inner self…
Listen to yourself…
You know from inside what is right and what feels wrong…
You know what is to be done..
You know what is good for you… but you need to listen to yourself first!
Don’t put your beliefs up and heart down..
Listen and work accordingly. .

-Amrata sharma 

Saturday, 20 October 2018

I am sensitive!

I am sensitive!  A term commonly used these days by many of us.
We are sensitive to many things these days.... Memes, likes, accepted or rejected friend requests... If someone calls or not on your birthday...
Why he isn't available online?  Why he don't do what I do?
We became sensitive to simple 'no'...

Being sensitive is converting into being fragile....
Tolerance has been decreased. Women are so feminist these days they can't handle criticism. Patience of listening to others, respect of others opinions ...are rarely seen.

But they hurt my feelings!
If they are saying something about my personal life.... If they have opinions about me... Off course I am going to be reacting this way!
This is normal... If they will do that I will get angry...

Really?  Is it normal?
So by saying this you are saying... I don't have any control of any of my outcomes... It all depends on other people...
You gave all the power to that other person...
What you feel is determined by what they say.... Not what you actually feel!

We act without thinking, we react like a chemical.... So are you really sensitive or fragile?
One small needle and balloon bursts...

What to do?
Next time before reacting to something try to stop yourself for a moment and try to listen what other person is saying... Try to understand what and why he is saying that?
And then ask yourself does it really affect me?
Or its just an opinion or advice or a thought.

Being sensitive is the basic human nature... To be sensitive towards pain of others, towards animals.... Towards our relationships.
Be sure of what are you sensitive about!

Amrata sharma.

Saturday, 13 October 2018

Why love others?

It's very easy in today's world to hate someone, it seems hate is in the air...
You can see it everywhere.. People trolling each other on internet,  news industry,old gossip way,  criticizing others on the basis of their achievements.
Expect everyone to be like you... To like you... And many other form of hate,like..why she always post these stupid stuff on fb?
 Another picture of the couple you see on social media and you say I hate my life. Why he's achieving more than me? ugghh...hate and hate...

Yes it seems natural to hate someone... Than to love what they are, whatever their life is.
You know why?  Because you hate your life too... You hate yourself.
We just see our reflection in others...
A human mind notices only what he knows... And your mind knows you.
And because of these hatred... There are increasing number of mental disorders in the world.

So why to love? Who to love?
Love yourself.... As you are, no matter what comparisons says.
Love because you need it, the more you love... More happy you are..

But people take advantage of me? They cheat me... Why to love them?
Because it's their karma... Your karma is to love..and they will also change..
But don't love because you want them to change... Love because you can!
Love is the basic human nature...

Mind your thoughts next time you Scroll a picture on social media.... Are you saying... I am happy for them, it's good they are enjoying... Or uggh ugly face, ugly figure...

You are what you see in others!

Amrata sharma.

Friday, 29 March 2013

mood problem?

The bed was warm. She cozied closer.

“Are you in the mood?”

I looked at her, my eyes wide in disbelief.

“What are you, on crack?” I asked. “Of course, I’m NOT in the mood.”

Who asks questions like that? It was cold outside, 18 degrees as I recall. And dark. Who wants to run in the cold and dark?

She was joking, of course. It’s not a question we ask… or entertain about our running. At least not often.

Because, for pursuits of any import, mood is irrelevant.

I’m rarely in the mood to go to the gym. I’m never in the mood to count my calories or sort my supplements. I’m only occasionally in the mood to run. Sometimes I’m in the mood to write. And sometimes not. I love to photograph. But I’m never in the mood to edit. I’m passionate about speaking. But the preparation is tedious.

Rory Vaden writes, “Simply stated, there are only two types of activities: things we feel like doing and things we don’t. And if we can learn to make ourselves do the things we don’t want to do, then we have literally created the power to create any result in our lives.”

Successful people do whatever they need to do to achieve their goals, regardless of how they “feel.”

“Successful people are successful because they form the habits of doing those things that failures don’t like to do,” said Albert Gray.

Form the habits of success. Dial in the gym, the run, the weekly planning, the healthy meals. Schedule and commit the time to write, to paint, to practice the instrument. Do what’s really important. Do it every day. Don’t think about it. Don’t analyze it. Don’t wonder about it. Don’t worry about it. Don’t re-consider it. Do it. Just do it. No matter what.

When was the last time you asked yourself whether you were “in the mood” to brush your teeth? What a ridiculous question to ask, you say. Make your habits of success like that.

The things that look effortless, the performances that are flawless, the achievements that astound (all those things you’re jealous of): they’re borne of countless hours of practice and preparation. Of doing. And doing again. And had nothing to do with mood.

So if the new business venture is on your list, or the MBA, or the 5k in the spring, now is the time to start.

I don’t care if you’re in the mood, or not.



by-walt..

http://www.walthampton.com/journeys/are-you-in-the-mood/#

Saturday, 15 September 2012

insults

Near Tokyo lived a great Samurai, now old, who decided to teach Zen Buddhism to young people.

One afternoon, a warrior – known for his complete lack of scruples – arrived there. The young and impatient warrior had never lost a fight. Hearing of the Samurai’s reputation, he had come to defeat him, and increase his fame.

All the students were against the idea, but the old man accepted the challenge.

All gathered on the town square, and the young man started insulting the old master. He threw a few rocks in his direction, spat in his face, shouted every insult under the sun – he even insulted his ancestors.

For hours, he did everything to provoke him, but the old man remained impassive. At the end of the afternoon, by now feeling exhausted and humiliated, the impetuous warrior left.

Disappointed by the fact that the master had received so many insults and provocations, the students asked:
– How could you bear such indignity? Why didn’t you use your sword, even knowing you might lose the fight, instead of displaying your cowardice in front of us all?

– If someone comes to you with a gift, and you do not accept it, who does the gift belong to? – asked the Samurai.
– He who tried to deliver it – replied one of his disciples.

– The same goes for envy, anger and insults – said the master.
“When they are not accepted, they continue to belong to the one who carried them.”

Saturday, 26 May 2012

desert tears

As soon as he arrived in Marrakesh, Morocco, a missionary decided he would stroll through the desert at the city’s boundary every morning. On his first stroll he noticed a man lying on the sand, caressing the ground with his hands and leaning his ears towards the earth.

“He is mad,” the missionary said to himself. But he saw the man every morning during his walks and after a month, intrigued by that strange behaviour, he decided to approach the stranger.

He knelt beside him and asked, in broken Arabic, “What are you doing?”
 “I keep the desert company and offer solace for its loneliness and its tears.”
 “I didn’t know the desert was capable of crying.”
 “It cries every day, because it dreams of being useful to mankind and turning into a huge garden where people could cultivate, flowers and sheep.”

“Well, then, tell the desert it accomplishes its mission very well,” said the missionary. “Every time I walk here, I am able to understand the true dimension of the human being, as its open space allows me to see how small we are before God. When I look at its sands, I imagine the millions of people in the world who were raised alike although the world isn’t always fair towards everyone. Its mountains help me meditate. As I see the sun rising on the horizon, my soul fills with joy and I get closer to the Creator.”

The missionary left the man and went back to his daily chores. To his surprise, he found him the next morning at the same place, in the same position.

“Did you tell the desert everything I told you?” he asked.
 The man nodded.
 “And even so it keeps crying?”
 “I can hear each of its sobs,” answered the man, his head tilted towards the ground.
 “Now it is crying because it spent thousands of years thinking it was completely useless and wasted all this time blaspheming God and its own destiny.”

“Well, then tell the desert that despite having a short lifespan, we human beings spend much of our days thinking we are useless. We rarely find the reason for our destiny and think God has been unfair to us. When a moment finally arrives in which we are shown the reason why we were born, we think it is too late to change and keep on suffering. And as the desert, we blame ourselves for the time we have wasted.”
 “I am not sure the desert will bother to hear it,” said the man.
 “It is used to suffering and it can’t see things differently.”
 “So then let us do what I always do when I feel people have lost faith. Let us pray.”

Both of them went down on their knees and prayed; one turned to Mecca as he was a Muslim and the other joined his hands in prayer, as he was Catholic. They prayed, each one to his own God.

The next day when the missionary resumed his daily walk, the man was no longer there. The ground where he used to embrace the sand seemed to be wet as if a small spring had formed. During the following months that spring grew and the city’s residents built a well around it.

The place is now called “The Well of the Desert’s Tears”. It is said that those who drink its water will be able to transform the reason of their suffering into the reason of their joy and will end up finding their true destiny.
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